Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Thank you disillusionment.

Thank you India
Thank you terror
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you frailty
Thank you consequence
Thank you thank you silence

Thank you India
Thank you providence
Thank you disillusionment
Thank you nothingness
Thank you clarity
Thank you thank you silence

- Alanis Morrsette, "Thank you"

I'm having a contemplative day and often gravitate toward "Thank You" by my girl Alanis when I'm in this frame of mind. This song reminds me of those aspects of life that I never thought I'd be thankful for. Silence. Nothingness. Clarity.

It's actually taken me a while to see the beauty in a completely silent moment, as I've grown quite accustomed to allowing life to be loud. I used to grow very uncomfortable with a lull in conversation or instances at school where the teacher asked us all to sit in silence. Silence was to me, very loud.

I still allow my mind to become bombarded and cluttered with loud thoughts, and I allow my mouth to run with unnecessarily over-the-top words. There have been times where I've driven myself insane with my untamed demeanor. I have to force myself to stop and chill.

Very rarely do I remember to enjoy a perfectly peaceful moment in the car, painting on new canvas, walking down the tow-path next to the river on Main Street, bringing the dog out in the middle of the night when there's not one car on the road and very little light anywhere. There are so many of the silent serene moments that I miss because I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Life doesn't always have to be outrageous. Repeat. Life doesn't always have to be outrageous.

I will quit rambling here, as not to sound like I'm turning into a self-help book. I just had to document this rare moment. It's late at night, no one's here but me my words and I'm thankful for it.

What are you thankful for?


  1. I'm thankful that I'm here. That's about it. Just my mere existence is enough to make me happy today.

  2. I have been listening to Alanis soo much recently, weird.