Tuesday, July 12, 2011

you know how i feel

Dear You,

It seems you've finally caught yourself a break.  Don't let your scared side take over and ruin a good thing.  You've got an opportunity in front of you that you didn't think you were worthy of.  Maybe, just maybe, you are.  Don't be a perfectionist; at first you may need a little work.  After all, you know little to nothing about the world you're breaking into.  Be patient with yourself and remember that good things come to those who wait. If you keep doing that next right thing you can't go wrong.  Show up for life and the impossible may become possible.  Up until now you've worried that you ruined your chances at this sort of thing because of your disheveled past.  You were wrong.  What you were is not what you are.  Maybe one day the negative thoughts will finally completely dissipate so that you can be that best version of yourself more often.  Take each day and use it as an opportunity to face your fears and get creative.  You're good at that remember?  What you're doing isn't rocket science; it isn't even something you've really aspired to do; but guess what?  It's something that you're naturally good at (or so they say): it gives you the chance to communicate, to be heard, to be challenged...and to drive around in a car you don't pay for.  Being a self-employed novelist doesn't come with a perk like that.  And hey, you never know, you could find great writing material in the characters you meet each day. 

The world is your oyster. 

To others, a new chapter like this may not mean this much.  But that's their loss.  Every new opportunity in your life is a blessing and a half. 

Most of all --- don't f*ck this up or I'll kick your ass b*tch.

Love you more than you let yourself believe,


* my pre-interview jam

Friday, July 1, 2011

Where are you?

And so you went
To the place we don't know
Though we pretend to

We write it down
And say we've been there in our dreams
And say we're trying to get there with our good deeds

But we don't know
The way it feels to be
In between a memory

Perhaps you're watching
A telescope graces your weightless hands
You watch her cry for you in the morning
Subconsciously waiting for your morning call
That won't come
Or sigh for you at night
Missing your sweet dream wishes

I will try
Although I know I will not be much
I'm much too selfish to remember
To call her
When she's waiting for you