I have an announcement to make.
Mama Roach has passed.
Because I ended her with my shoe at 4am. (This is the one and only time I am happy about being an insomniac. I keep the same hours as the insects of the home. This is something to be proud of).
Let's take a moment of silence to reflect upon the glorious life she led - scurrying away from me along the corners of the bathroom floor for months. Hiding inside my cabinets. Running at the speed of light behind my toilet. She was a fast little (by little I mean big) thing.
I'm sorry to report that she met her demise in the form of my gold strappy sandal, but somebody had to do it.
I'm well aware that there's usually a family of little roach buggers hiding in the rafters. They will come out and haunt me because I've killed their Queen. But I'm good and ready for them.
By the way, if you've noticed the photo accompanying this post, let me just say this: how bad do you feel for the guy who was forced to model that costume? A picture of him in sunglasses and a brown, humungous cockroach costume is now plastered all over the internet. Poor him.