Thursday, April 15, 2010

Nobody puts baby in the corner (or hiding under the covers).


I woke up to the sun streaming through the curtains and the smell of spring. A lovely entrance into the day.

Until I checked my cell phone and my e-mails.

They were the bearers of really bad, sad news. So I pulled the sheets over my head and fell asleep until now: 2pm. Disgusting.

When I woke up this second time, I expected the sad pit in my stomach to have dissipated. It didn't. I feel annoyed at the world, at people who disrespect others, at those who make a mountain out of a mole hole, at myself for occasionally adding to the problem instead of the solution.

For me, I have to consciously tell myself to push all the negative BS away and it's such a process. My mind is just naturally overactive. Out of nowhere, I'll begin analyzing a situation that bugs me and then have an internal conversation with myself about it. Before I know it, I'm in full blown anxiety mode.

I've already wasted a precious 5 hours hiding from reality and "sleeping it off". Sleeping what off? The realization that people are fallible? That I'm fallible? That some days are good and others are bad? That this is life?

Grow up, me. Balance yourself out. You're better than this game you play - the hiding game.

Go out and enjoy this lovely Thursday afternoon while it's still light out.

1 comment:

  1. ((HUGS)) What a crappy way to start the day. I hope you got out to enjoy the sun for a bit.