Sunday, January 17, 2010

Au Revoir

I am not the type of woman that claims to get every man she wants. I have been lucky a few times in that area, but yes, I do know rejection. It's part of life and I can keep on keepin' on. But for some reason, you, you make me sad when you reject me. You make me wonder why. I waste time thinking about what exactly happened between us. I don't like this side of myself. It laid dormant for the past two years while I tried to force a key into a lock that didn't fit. Now that I'm not forcing that key, I'm forcing this one.

What makes me laugh about this situation is that I think the only thing that I actually like about you is your freckles. They look innocent. I replayed the time you said "girls are bad," in a southern accent many times. You said it jokingly but I knew you had been broken quite a few times by us. You also used exclamation points to end many of your texts and I dug it for whatever reason. You were kind of interesting. I've known you for a while and I just kind of liked your familiarity. That's all.

In the past I may have been addicted to the mysterious drama surrounding our mismatched chemistry but today I can't do it.

That's not how I'm built.

You have taught me that I'm not ready for keys and locks, not even a little bit. Especially ones that do not fit.


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