Tuesday, January 12, 2010

12:27 PM Wake Up Calls

Listen, my mind refuses to leave me alone with ideas for blog topics but I have gotta get gut honest real quick and let you in on a little secret of mine that is bothering me today. And has been since, well, it began.

I was laid off on November 13, 2009. I had been working for over 2 years in marketing for a commercial real estate firm. This job was challenging, enlightening, it kicked my ass into gear but most of all it made me sad. I had a very hard time with the dynamic and most of all, there was no room for my creative outlet which I have come to realize is what keeps me relatively sane. Dream job or not, being laid off was a bit of a shock. In other words, I cried in front of the President and had tears marks all over my face while I packed my desk up and had to leave the building. They were as nice as they could be and I knew it was nothing personal (there were a large group of us who got the boot after something weird happened to our stock) but I still felt cheated. This is a normal reaction I think, when one is summoned to a conference room right as they're about to dive into their warmed apple fritter and espresso chocolate truffle from none other than Starbucks (another addiction), told their being laid off, handed a check for their unused vacation days, and as they are ready to get up, are notified that they are being locked out of their computer by the IT manager as the conversation is taking place. Again, I realize this is standard protocal for a publically traded company blah blah blah, but man, it leaves no room for sensitivity to those who are being escorted out of the building without being able to finish their fritter. Catch my drift?

Moral of the story is this: Other than my part time hours at Banana Republic (which I love by the way), my life is an open book. A very BLANK open book. My daily planner is now being used as the place I stash my gum when I'm at a restaurant and the napkins are cloth. What I do most is (drum roll please)...sleep.

Yes, my friends, I stay up late watching HGTV, I binge eat Cheez-It 100 calorie packs at 3 AM, I text my fellow insomniac friend Ashley and have deep discussions about life until 4:30 AM, and then I sleep in until about 12:27 PM when my dog bites my hand because she's sick of waiting.

I've never been a morning person, but now I've reached the point where I completely bypass morning and wake up just in time for a nice lunch. I remember the days where I was laying out my work attire the night before, pressing it perfectly, picking the shoes to match and then waking up before the sun came up to get to work. What happened?

What happened was that left to my own devices, left with days full of nothing and all the time in the world, I have fallen into an addiction to late nights and even later mornings and I am kinda embarrassed.


  1. Girly, I clearly have never had a real job, but I feel like I have some idea how you feel. When I was deemed unstable for school and sent to rehab, and then was not allowed to return to my senior year I felt much the same way. I had to sit home and do nothing while all my friends were planning for homecoming and prom. It was the most depressing and embarassing thing ever. It totally sucks. I'm sorry you are struggling so much with this, but I know that once you are busy and employed soon, you will wish you could go back to these carefree days. Hang in there girly, and know you can always hang out with me when your bored!!!

  2. there's something amazing about having so much time but something really weird about the hours i've been keeping. less sleeping in, more blogging.