Thursday, February 3, 2011

I just couldn't help myself, okay?

As the light streams in and bounces off the left corner of my desk, I am suddenly wondering why I did it.
With my shortage of money, with my stomach already churning due to the sensitivity of this time of the month,
Why oh why?

Forget the fact that it was delicious. All of it. I had been dreaming about the second part for about a week now, but putting it off
until today.

If I'm being honest,
which I am,
there was a split second, a pinch of time
to re-evaluate my choices.
Once before I turned right into my first stop and again, before I turned left into my second.
But I said, "eh, what the f*ck" to both.
And I did it,
right after one another.

And now,
as I bind presentations,
check my phone in between,
manage my boss' expenses and perform the rest of my menial tasks,
I will no doubt continue
- for at least three hours -
to glance intensely at the four trashcans around my desk area within arms' reach
in case I need to get sick.
Heading to the bathroom in time is questionable.

I should not have eaten two orders of Mexican Sushi Roll & Spicy Tuna Roll followed by a Snack Size McDonald's McFlurry.

It just wasn't necessary.

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