i want you to want me.

Today it was indeed sunny in Philadelphia.  The temperature hung out around the low 80s, the sky was robin's egg blue and everyone was out and about.

I began experiencing what shall forever be known as THE WORST ALLERGY ATTACK OF MY LIFE and had to stay inside after work until it was dark out because I think I heard once that the air isn't as filled with allergens at night time.

What's weird about this attack is that my throat is still aching and dry and itchy and feels like what I remember strep throat feeling like.

When I finally emerged from my apartment at around 8 PM, I brought my dog (naturally).  We took a walk to CVS where I had to tie her up outside while I ran in to buy my SECOND bottle of allergy medicine because--let's be serious--the medicine I have been using is DEFINITELY not working.  She hates when I do this; leave her outside alone while I meddle around in a store for a few minutes.  Half of me feels like a bad mother but the other "I need you to need me" half feels nicely surprised knowing that she loves being with me.  I don't think that makes me a bad person.

After I purchased my meds and untied my pooch from what I think was the rain-gutter-pipe-thing (I just realized I never consciously stopped to think that commercial buildings, like homes, need rain gutters too!) we stopped at a coffee place where I tied her up again and ran in to get an ice-cold, organic smoothie called the "Peanut butter and Jelly" smoothie.  It did taste very much like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if the sandwich were to be chilled and without the bread.  It soothed my allergen-wrecked throat.  I had a nice conversation with the barista man who came outside after I went outside to drink my smoothie with the dog on my lap and me in a plastic chair.  Barista lived in Seattle for a while but is now living with his parents in Wilmington, Delaware until he moves back to Philly in June.  I could not and cannot believe he drives all the way to this freaking obsessively organic coffee shop to work everyday.  He said sometimes he has to open in the morning and that means being at the shop at 5:30 AM...to make COFFEE...really??

I ran into a newish friend of mine outside this coffee shop too.  She stopped to tell me that her ex-boyfriend that I know, but that I didn't know was her ex-boyfriend (got me?) said I was pretty and he's not the type to give any positive commentary on anyone and she even said that and that made me feel like I could have an extra pep in my step on the walk home.  So WHAT.

Now I am going to shower and put on a pair of boy short underwear and a tank top and sleep in just that because guess what?  It's finally that time of year.

P.S.  I usually think that sneezing is like, God showing me a glimpse of what heaven feels like, because it just feels THAT GOOD.  But not today.  I mean, when the rapid fire sneezing bouts occur, I don't avoid them by looking straight at the sun or anything, but they're taking so much out of me and they're irritating the throat and they're not giving me any RELIEF.

GOOD GRIEF.