Sunday, May 6, 2012

Steel beams and lyrics

You painted the picture for me once.

We are all walking along steel beams in life,
Beams like the ones that create the structure of the high-rise buildings we saw in the city,
When we walked the streets together often.

And most of us, the lucky ones, the ones who believe in love,
Once we reach the end of one beam,
Instead of falling to our deaths into the darkness below,
Are picked up by another,
That suddenly appears just in time.

These beams come in the form of new people,
New loves,
New faith,
High Powers,

Why was it never me?

I sit here listening to, "Say Hello, Wave Goodbye" by David Gray -
A song you told me you loved.
I said the lyrics were powerful, describing a relationship with pieces that didn't quite fit together
You said it wasn't the lyrics that touched you.
I didn't believe you.

You never wanted to admit you related,
Especially when it came to lovers, to break ups,
To anything that may have related to me.

And why was I always looking?

For the answers in songs, in your antecdotal thoughts.
I was always reaching for a way to get there,
To that space that I hoped was reserved only for me and my love.

Now I see that it may have never existed.

Truthfully, I think I see that there isn't really space for anyone-
inside of you -
for someone else.

I will tell you that our kisses were just as powerful to me as the David Gray lyrics.
We were often unable to fit together.
We were often unable to catch each other as one of us fell off one of our steal beams.
We fell to the darkness below, to our deaths,
And then tried to re-birth ourselves, come back to life.

How can one do that when the other won't catch them before they fall?
How can trust be built on something that dies again and again and then tries to rebuild itself on nothing?

While I remember our devastating misses,
I will remember our kisses.

I will say hello and wave goodbye.

No comments:

Post a Comment