I went through a phase of addiction involving the Showtime series Californication. Hank Moody is a freaking revelation to me and his starving artist persona mixed with his overwhelming yet totally chill sexual nature continues to draw me in whenever I'm at someone's house who has Showtime and who doesn't mind letting me watch whatever I want while I'm there. This happens rarely, so I have missed many episodes.
Anyway, there was this one episode that legitimately changed my life. The writing is absolutely breath-taking. The scene is perfectly done. The thought behind it is adorable. Hank meets Karen, a woman he is immediately taken by. She's already in a relationship so the fact that Hank and her are having an affair is the problem. But they both know there's something there, something real. Hank is a writer and emotionally bizarre with women, so he has a hard time going after anything, anyone. Naturally, he writes instead. He writes her this letter and sends it to her. I still get goose bumps when I read it. I rewound the scene over and over and over and over and over again just so I could write down every word. And here it is:
If you're reading this it means I actually worked up the courage to mail it. So good for me. You don't know me very well but if you get me started, I have a tendency to go on and on about how hard the writing is for me. This…This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. There's no easy way to say this so ill just say it.
I met someone.
It was an accident. I wasn't looking for it, I wasn't on the make. It was a perfect storm. She said one thing, I said another. Next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation. Now there's this feeling in my gut she might be the one.
She's completely nuts in a way that makes me smile. Highly neurotic. A great deal of maintenance required.
She is you Karen.
That's the good news. The bad news is that I don't know how to be with you right now. And that scares the shit out of me. Because if I'm not with you right now, I have this feeling we'll get lost out there. It's a big bad world full of twists and turns, and people have a way of blinking and missing the moment; the moment that could have changed everything.
I don't know what's going on with us. And I can’t tell you why you should waste a leap of faith on the likes of me. But damn, you smell good. Like home. And you make excellent coffee, that's gotta count for something.
I'm faithfully yours,