Raving Lunacy

So guess what? I feel like knocking someone into a brick wall today. Actually, I really don't. I just said that because my Dad used to scare us out of bringing boyfriends home to the house with the statement, "If I don't like how they treat you, I'll knock em' through a brick wall." I never took it seriously. I mean, my dad looks like a life-size Ken doll. Seriously. He is 52 with a full head of really healthy blonde hair that combs over perfectly. Just like Barbie's boyfriend. Except his hair moves. When my sisters and I couldn't find our hairbrushes during our teen years (which was a lot for some reason), we would go grab Dad's off-limits comb. This comb is what gave Dad this perfect Ken hair. A few whisks through the front and he was golden. Without this comb, Dad was not complete. So if we stole the comb, Dad would yell at us and knock us through a brick wall. No, he didn't do that. He isn't that type. Mom is. But he made us find it and return it to its drawer in his bathroom or we were sometimes grounded.

Anyway, what I really feel like doing today is just throwing a temper tantrum. The kind that four year olds throw when their Mom takes away their toy or tells them they're not allowed to continue coloring on the walls. This has been brewing since I left for my trip to New York to visit my brother. The world has become darker to me for about 5 days to be exact. I do not like it. I am going to list what's bothering me because...I don't know why actually. Because if I don't, I'm going to knock this computer through a brick wall.

1. I rented a Rug Doctor (carpet shampooer machine thingy) for my apartment and it didn't take away the dead animal carcus smell that has been looming in my apartment since I moved in and threatening to take over.

2. When I returned the Rug Doctor, I smashed my finger into my car door and I think my nail is going to fall off and this hasn't happened since grade school when I fell on this big rock in my back yard. It hurt really bad and it turned purple and that made me sick.

3. I have been going back and forth with this one boy for months now and it never goes anywhere. One of us always freaks out and I even wrote a damn blog post about him saying goodbye and I lied people. Okay? I lied. I didn't say goodbye. He hurt my feelings. He gets under my skin. I like to pretend I am impenetrable but, guess what? I'm not. So, my feelings are hurt today.

4. I have become really bad at texting. I used to be the queen of keeping in touch via text. I prided myself on it. Now, every single person I have ever texted in my life has brought my lack of good texting to my attention. Apparently I never respond in time or I never respond at all and soon I will have no friends due to my inability to keep in touch.

5. Because I sit at this computer and type all the time now, my horrible back problems are becoming like, almost unbearable. I definitely have cancer. One time in high school they told me I might have cancer in my back but I did not. This is where the fear of back cancer comes from. However, I'm not sure back cancer is an actual condition. Either way, I'm in pain.

6. I never have any bottled water at my house when I'm thirsty. And I'm sick of it.

7. My complexion has changed and I'm afraid I now have to wear at least a little makeup everyday before leaving the house. This is what happens when you turn 26? Great. Can't wait for 30. And 40. At 50 I will no doubt have full-fledged adult acne.

8. My dog ran away for an hour today and wouldn't come in no matter how many damn treats I lured in front of her face. She's bothering me and I thought about letting her stay outside forever today until someone either took her or she got lost. That's horrible. Something's clearly wrong with me

9. I moved to this gorgeous apartment in August of last year. It's now February. I still have 4 boxes of clothes to put away in my closet and drawers and I think it's safe to say it's never getting done. This is just a small example of my procrastinating, lazy side that I absolutely despise.

10. Facebook isn't fun anymore. Either is late night TV. Should I get a job? Probably. I have been applying but have not received much positive feedback. That's another lie. I have received no feedback. This worries me.

That's all for today. I have a post about my trip to see my brother in the works. It is also in numbered list format. But, this insane one had to come out first. I feel so much better just letting it rip. I apologize for not being a nice blogger today.