Studded and Sideways

I want your drama
The touch of your hand
I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand
~Lady Gaga

Everytime I hear Bad Romance by LG (which is roughly every 5 minutes if I'm listening to the radio whilst driving), I find myself loving the lyrics above. Something about the phrase leather-studded kiss in the sand makes me want one.

If I had to describe a leather-studded kiss, I'd go with a kiss from a rough-skinned man. A man who looks good rocking the 5 o'clock shadow. More importantly, a man who I don't mind rubbing my face against with a 5, 6 or 7 o'clock shadow. We don't necessarily need to be on the sand. I mean, at least not right now. I live in the Northeast, the weather is far too cold for beach rompings. I'd accept my leather-studded kiss from a man sitting on my couch, under dim lighting, watching American Idol or Real World D.C. Actually, I'm really in the mood to watch Sideways. I fell in love with this movie all over again last month when I ordered it On Demand three times. There's something about Miles neuroses that draws me in like its the first time every time. And his gentle voice that enunciates oh so perfectly. And the way he describes his beloved Pinot (and himself). And his over-the-top nerdy, needy, insecure, starving artist persona. And the scene where Jack gets completely owned by the oriental motorcycle chick who breaks his nose with her helmet when she finds out he's getting married. . . Ah I am the queen of digressing. . . Watch the movie and fall in love like I have. It's beautiful. Before I go back to Gaga, I must give credit once again to my James, who turned me on to Sideways years ago.

For now, there will be nothing leather-studded in my apartment other than my high-waisted belt from Banana Republic. And while it's on my mind, I will share with you my favorite scene from Sideways besides the nose-bashing-with-helmet scene. If you haven't seen this movie yet, it doesn't matter. You may relate.

Maya: You know, can I ask you a personal question, Miles?
Miles Raymond: Sure.
Maya: Why are you so in to Pinot?
Miles Raymond: [laughs softly]
Maya: I mean, it's like a thing with you.
Miles Raymond: [continues laughing softly]
Miles Raymond: Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and... ancient on the planet.

Whoever my leather-studded man is, I am going to let him in on a little secret. I will try very hard to be Cabernet, and on my good days I will be. But deep down inside I'm more like Pinot than I initially let on.