Today, fine.

There was a time I wasn't this analytical

I didn't need to know

why and how and where it was all going

If you told me it was all going to be okay

I'd believe you -

without question

But that stopped working

Because so much wasn't okay

I felt lied to

Where was truth?

I tried constructing my own

which was even worse

Disastrous, my mind is

at finding reality

Instead it dreamed of life as a circus

and I, the ring leader

orchestrating it all

But I wasn't.

Again, I felt lied to

this time by my own mind

So here I am

I don't trust you

I don't trust me

What then do I trust?

I sometimes find this little voice

inside my heart

It tells me to let it be

Let life show you what's real, it says

And it's powerful when it says that

Let it unfold

in its own time

like the flowers you so often admire

Their petals are at first so tightly packed

protecting the stamen from damage

until the stamen tells them it's okay to open

up to the world

up to the sun

allow light in

sometimes damage

but they're ready for this

They unfurl, extending

until they fall

Off their flower

To the floor

Some give themselves to the wind

Or to a child's hand

A dog's mouth even

They don't seem to fight it -

the truth of their existence

Perhaps they know that while they were opened, they were admired
loved even

They had a purpose

"Stop questioning!

Allow your petals to open, extend,
Allow admiration and love

Give what you can, when you can

until the end of your time."

This is what that voice tells me

This power inside that I've just begun to touch and listen to

Time is not mine

The voice is it
Truth, reality

And today, fine

Tomorrow I may begin questioning again
Where and how and why

But today, fine

I'll give the truth a chance